The Measure of a Man

It's so hard to say goodbye. It's even harder to think it. The hardest thing yet is to have left thoughts unspoken.

Grandpa, I'm sure I said the following many times over the years; Thank you, I love you, What do you think about _____?, Thanks for your thoughts on _____.

I'm not certain I ever said, though; "You have been one of the deepest influences of my life. I have never taken for granted your genuine interest in my hobbies, activities, friends, interests, jobs and accomplishments. I have always admired your appreciation for the workings of the human body and the outdoors. I will always remember your bikes, our camping trips, your wedding day, Christmas and Easter Visits, sitting in the audience at my ballet recitals and your revering my father as a Marine. Thanks for the history tidbits about El Paso, Gila trails, throwing records off of skyscrapers, Naval travels, best friends in uniform, ancestry and Billy the Kid. I have learned SO much.

But, stronger than the individual memories, I remember feeling that you loved me. From the very beginning. From my earliest memories. You always made me feel loved. It shaped me. It gave me strength and confidence. Having you in my life made me a better person, by leaps and bounds. My biggest regret at this juncture, is that my children won't know you in this life.

God be with you till we meet again, Grandpa. I love and miss you so very much."

P.S. I know you didn't tell anyone, but it was HRC's post as Sec. of State that was the last straw for you, wasn't it?

A Healthy Balance Between Fear and Adventure

This week, I had occassion to travel to a part of Virginia I had not yet been, the Eastern Shore. If you are unfamilar with that region, it is the yellow portion at the bottom of Maryland in the map below. It doesn't physically touch any of the rest of the state. From Richmond, the two choices to get there are to travel north to DC and then all the way down Maryland, or head south to VA Beach and drive over the ocean.

Lest you think I was kidding, you really can drive over the ocean, and I did. The Chesapeake Bay Bridge/Tunnel spans the 17.6 miles (shore to shore) between VA Beach and the Eastern Shore. (picture taken of the map at the first rest stop on the bridge)

If you know me well, you know my biggest fear is being in large bodies of water. I love the beach. I love lakes. I don't so much love being IN them. I can push fear aside enough to enjoy water skiing in a lake, but I'm pretty sure it was a panic attack I had when my boyfriend at the time and I tipped our kayak over 1/2 mile from shore off the coast of Hilton Head, SC. The expansiveness, depth and predators of the ocean terrify me.

Here is my GPS along the bridge drive. Perhaps blue is a color you don't see frequently on yours. This was certainly the first time it was the ONLY color on mine. Nuttin' but water as far as the eye can see....

If you click on this one, you might be able to see the ships.

They were very large ships; cargo, I'm guessing.

Another view out the window.

You can actually grab a bite to eat in the middle of this bridge. I wasn't hungry enough to stay and be seated at the restaurant on the bridge, but I did get a celebratory Diet Dr. Pepper. The locals at the Eastern Shore sang the praises of the fried fish sandwhich at this place.

I'll have to go back. A fun date idea, eh?

_______

All in all, a very cool experience. I opened my sunroof and windows and soaked in the salty air as best I could. I kept my mind off of the fact that the bridge was completed in 1965 and the pillars surely would have done much settling and shifting over the past 43 years (until now, obviously). The trip back was a little more dicey. It was dark, very windy and rainy. Luckily I had Angela on the phone to keep my mind occupied (thanks again, Ang!). If you're ever in VA, I'd put this on your list of things to do.

A Friday Song - Never Go To Work

I saw that a friend had this posted, and wanted to share as well.

While I can't relate to the lyrics at all (since I seem to work ALL days), I will always love They Might Be Giants. I think I even did my freshman honor's writing project on "Birdhouse in Your Soul".

Enjoy!

NOT Twitterpated

I don't get Twitter. I mean... I "get" Twitter. I do not get the appeal, though.

This might seem a contradictory statement, since I do blog, and blogging has a few similarities to Twitter. 1. It can be used to update others on your life and 2. It's a way of updating many people at one time.

However, my limited exposure to Twitter is disturbing to me. I've already been perplexed by the people who update their Facebook status several times a day. But, Twitter takes it to a whole new level. The following example is not a big exaggeration of a thread:

_____

6:29am - Good morning world!

6:35am - Hot water a' runnin'. Shower, here I come!

6:38am - Hard to shower and twit, but I'm doing it! P.S. Note to self - buy more shampoo.

7:04am - Dressed. So glad this new skirt fits!

7:06am - Brushing teeth.

7:09am - LISTERINE TIME!!!!!

7:15am - Planning opening statements for 11am meeting while blowdrying hair.

7:21am - Grabbing bags and heading out the door! (and twittering!!)

7:30am - Can't believe the traffic.

7:32am - Still haven't gotten past exit 67!

7:35am - Made it to exit 66!

7:40am - Turning onto rte 537

7:41am - Pier 1 Sale! Must go after work!

7:42am - Only 3 more stoplights to go!

7:43am - DOH! Forgot to pack gym clothes!

7:44am - 2 more lights!

7:45am - Finishing mascara in the rearview mirror (and twittering! such a great multi-tasker!)

7:48am - Pulling into garage

7:48.27 - Scanning badge

7:48.35 - The security arm lifts. Hooray!

7:48.53 - Lookin' for a spot.

7:49 - Found one!

7:53 - Twittering while walking to the elevator.

7:55 - In the elevator

7:56 - Doors opening! I'm at work!

_____

You get my intention. I mean... does anyone really want to know that much about a person's day? It certainly takes the fun and mystery out of stalking I'm sure. It almost seems that more of life is spent on texting about it instead of living it. Agreed?

A New Year - ON PURPOSE

There seemed to be so many increments of time when I was younger. I miss them. Semesters, Basketball vs. Football cheer seasons, summer break, Nutcracker vs. regular recital dance seasons, school years, pizza-earning book seasons, short distances between visits with grandparents, yes.... even the progression from horrid tryouts to the American Idol finales.

Lately I feel like I measure time only in campaign cycles. It's unhealthy, I tell you. But, I can't help but feel like January 1 is still a chance to "CRTL ALT DEL" if you will. Reboot. Refresh. I'm grateful for the reminder to ponder and reconsider.

I liked 2008. A lot, in fact. But, it will go down in the annals of my life as a rather haphazard year. It began in Des Moines and then moved on to Las Vegas, Palm Beach, Minneapolis, Lynchburg and Richmond. It was a "fly by the seat of my pants" year. I spent much more time in drive through windows and lost too much time watching the red light of my blackberry blink in the middle of the night. I put way too many miles on my car (and never have time to empty the junk in it). I grew more out of contact with good friends.

So, this year's resolution, for me, was an easy one. I've phrased it a few different ways.

Living On Purpose
Living With Purpose
Living Deliberately

I'm trying to prepare more. I'm moving away from "merely surviving". Wish me luck.