Tuesday, October 5, 2010

How Do I Know?


See those? Blurry, I know. But, those are nails. Fingernails. My own.
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I started biting my nails in the second grade. I remember one of the fourth grade teachers stopping me in the hall one day and asking why I was biting my nails. She told me that one day, when I was older, I would want them to be pretty for a boy that I loved and I would stop. It was a lovely sentiment, but has thus far turned out to be untrue.
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I spent a good 6 years or so with acrylics. This allowed me to have nice hands for a professional life.
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BUT, magically, when I began my CNA class, I stopped biting them. It was not a conscious decision. I only discovered it on accident when I realized I needed to trim my nails. Holy cow!
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Seven months later..... I have to trim and file them weekly. This is a whole new world to me, but very symbolic of my feelings.
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I'll never know why I started biting my nails. I think it's because I saw someone do it and thought I'd give it a try. But, it became a 25-year nervous habit. I didn't FEEL nervous or stressed, but I think in the back of my mind there was a residual wondering if I was on the right path or making the choices to take me to where the Lord wanted me to go in life.
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That feeling went away the minute I made actual steps and progress toward nursing. And... the habit stopped all on it's own.

2 comments:

Angela said...

What an interesting self-analysis! Much to catch up on with ya, including this post:)

Becca said...

That's awesome. Not so much about the nails, but more about the peace and knowing you are on the right path.